Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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