I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i came on her dog
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
