There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
