We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
