Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
