How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
