Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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