I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
