please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
