I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
