yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize