Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
how drunk are you?
Several
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
