so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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