I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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