so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
