Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
