So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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