remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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