I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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