Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I need moral support for this bender
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
