She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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