I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
