You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize