ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize