then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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