Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
