I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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