I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize