you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
