my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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