You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
