We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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