Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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