i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
