like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
