i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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