it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There r osticjed everywhere
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
