DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
