I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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