I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize