How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
