I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Couch. On fire.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
