i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
