Sponge bath it is.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
