I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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