its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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