This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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