At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
