Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize