All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize