You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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