So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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