I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
