He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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