tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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