Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
