I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
