I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
