dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
