So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
