how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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