I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
