HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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