No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
