Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
